


What I'm Sorry For...

by MiraculousTalenny



Category: Gorillaz
Genre: 2D's basically a hallucination but is also real in this, 2doc - Freeform, Afterlife?, Based off the Murdoc chat today...sad, Drowning, Graphic Description, Hallucinations, M/M, Murdoc's alive at the end of this one, Not Really Character Death, One-Shot, Prison Escape, RIP Murdoc, Sad Murdoc, Sad with a Happy Ending, slight 2doc, slightly happy ending
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-31
Updated: 2018-10-07
Packaged: 2019-07-05 04:35:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15856326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiraculousTalenny/pseuds/MiraculousTalenny
Summary: This was it. Murdoc Niccals’ great defeat, trapped in the sewers to drown. Just the way for a rock star like him to die, huh?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm torn between believing that Murdoc is actually dead or that he is alive. It's 50/50 right now. He's apparently immortal, and there are two more Murdoc chats scheduled for this September, so I doubt he's actually gone? But you never know. It's Gorillaz, after all. 
> 
> This takes place during the Murdoc chat I guess, slight 2Doc undertones? Idk. I'mma say yes. 
> 
> This is the best thing I've written all summer if you ask me. I cried writing this and I sincerely apologize if you cry too reading this. 
> 
> Enjoy!

For the first time since the events of Plastic Beach, Murdoc Niccals was terrified. Underground in a prison sewer infested with diseased rodents and the smell of his enemies’ waste wasn’t where he wanted to be. But because Noodle never contacted him again after allegedly journeying to El Mierda’s hideout, he took matters into his own hands to get out of Wormwood Scrubs for good.

Luckily, people seem to constantly owe him favours, and he was a spectacular liar when he needed to be and wasn’t intoxicated. Murdoc had a plan B in action now.

Terrified and excited. Adrenaline in his veins and shivers running down his spine as the bassist ran through the dark, grimy tunnels of the sewer. Murdoc fought his urges and swallowed the bile rising in his throat at the horrible stench. But he’d really rather smell this disgusting stench instead of the body odour in the prison. At least down here the Soap Sisters and Big Balls couldn’t threaten or intimidate him any more than they had to.

The bassist stopped his running to glance down at his phone which was still trying to load the sewer map he’d obtained, thanks to his little fib. But it wasn’t opening up, and he was using data that came with the shitty phone.

Cursing under his breath Murdoc kept walking now. He knew he was headed in the right direction, thanks to previously looking at the PDF in the computer lab earlier. Another turn and he should reach the main gate.

Eventually, he reached the gate, growling in frustration that there were in fact wheels like there’d been on the map. He’d inwardly hoped they were nonexistent.

The shitty phone in his jumpsuit pocket buzzed against his thigh, pleased to see a message. Not long before he’d have the gate opened and then he’d be free!

…

Murdoc dropped the fucking phone after texting to fast and urgently. Now he was trapped against an unopened gate with no signs of an opening, and the sewage sludge was rising quickly, already up to his neck and near his nose soon.

This was it. Murdoc Niccals’ great defeat, trapped in the sewers to drown in faeces and urine. Just the way for a rock star like him to die, huh?

Arms out around him to try to keep himself afloat, everything seemed to happen in slow-motion. Rushing water past Murdoc’s ears and his eyes tingled at the unmistakable sensation of tears pooling up.

Murdoc didn’t want to die. Not like this, at least.

With nothing but his mind left, the bassist resorted to making up his last thoughts.

His bandmates, his family…

They were better off without him if that wasn’t already obvious. Noodle would rather help 2D than him. 2D wanted nothing to do with him after all those years of abuse and kidnapping. Same with Russel for the shit he’d put him through. After every horrible thing Murdoc did, there was no wonder they didn’t try and help free him, even when they knew he’d done nothing wrong to be imprisoned.

Tears trailed down Murdoc’s cheeks which met with the sludge rising to his chin. The bassist exhaled a quivering breath through his mouth, clamping his mouth shut and biting his lip hard.

Terrified. Alone. Left to rot.

Through the tears blurring his vision, he could see a wave of waste rushing towards him. This was it. His heart raced and he felt his arms and legs go numb when a shiver of terror went down his spine so fast he may have spasmed.

“I…” Murdoc swallowed, gasping for his last breath, preparing for the inevitable fate of drowning.

“I-I’m sorry for..f-for-”

The wave crashed down before Murdoc could finish and the sludge rose up past his nose, eyes wide for a few seconds before shutting again to keep it out his eyes. He felt disgusting, drowning in the waste of the prison scumbags as if they knew he was down here, dying in an attempt for freedom. Taunting him for his foolish plan and for not accepting his prison sentence.

Everything went deathly quiet, the bassist’s ears submerged under the waste.

Unable to see, breathe, or hear.

_Sorry for what?_

Murdoc nearly choked on the air he was desperately holding in when he heard 2D’s voice. The bassist froze, floating under the surface of death, sure that he was hallucinating now. This must be his brain playing a last sick joke on him before losing consciousness for the last time.

_Sorry for what, Muds?_

2D filled his mind now. Murdoc heard his voice as if he was stood in front of him right now, watching him drown in himself and the sewage. He squeezed his eyes shut even harder, shaking his head, pretending he could shut 2D out.

_For what, Murdoc?!_

Though he kept his eyes shut Murdoc’s vision was growing lighter and his lungs were beginning to burn the longer he held on. He was shaking, nails digging into his arms as he felt the strength leave his frail body.

_What are you sorry for, Murdoc?!_

2D’s voice was louder this time, more persistent and desperate. Desperate enough for Murdoc that he gave in, accidentally opening his mouth to sob in despair. Oxygen left the bassist at that moment, abandoning him to choke on the shit he was grateful he couldn’t taste.

2D’s voice vanished. Alone in the sewers now, Murdoc let go; arms unwrapped from around himself, floating at his sides. Head tilted upwards slightly, eyes opened as the bassist watched nothingness fade into a blinding white light…

…

_Murdoc felt nothing but calm. A hand that wasn’t his own ran through his thick black hair, another hand gently resting against his chest. He could lay there forever if he knew where he was._

_The bassist opened his eyes only to be blinded by white light, through his eyes adjusted quickly. He looked up to see 2D’s face staring back at him, eyes blacker than hell pouring back into his. No words were spoken as Murdoc lifted his head stiffly to see that he was laid down comfortably next to the singer, his head resting in his lap like always before he was framed and imprisoned._

_2D’s hands continued to card through his hair and Murdoc reached for the hand on his chest, unsure of whether he was hallucinating again or if this was real. He felt him._

_The bassist sighed, only to feel nothing leave his chest. No air, no heat, nothing. Murdoc sat up abruptly, panicking. Attempting to breathe in and out, he couldn’t feel any air enter or leave his body, yet his lungs weren’t burning. As if he...didn’t need oxygen anymore._

_He looked back to 2D, eyes wide as he took it all in. He was dead, he must be. The singer didn’t flinch to Murdoc’s movement, hands settled down on his crisscrossed legs. 2D was sat up straight, his blue hair being the brightest colour he could see next to the blinding white space they were in._

_“...2D?”_

_If Murdoc was dead, then 2D must be an angel. He looked like one right now. Angelic, peaceful, quiet._

_The singer didn’t reply, just gazed at him with his hollow black eyes. He smiled faintly though, with his lips tugging up at one side._

_Murdoc awkwardly laid back where he had been, relaxing when 2D’s hand returned to his hair once again. Dimly noting that he wasn’t in his prison jumpsuit, dressed in black jeans and a tank top. He didn’t breathe; he didn’t need to. Tears ran down the sides of the bassist’s face, so light he couldn’t feel them until he felt something like a sob rise in his throat._

_He thought about his life. The life he lived. That felt so far away now as if it were another country. Like a vacation; it wouldn’t last. Murdoc didn’t want to lay here in his singer’s lap forever in silence, letting his mouth open just the slightest…_

_“I-I’m sorry…” His voice was smoother than it had ever been in years, still authoritative though._

_2D shifted, looking down at the bassist at a new angle, his facial expression not changing in the slightest. He let out a breath that Murdoc felt against his face._

_“Sorry for what?” 2D spoke, and the emotionless yet concerning tone in his accented-voice sent shivers down the bassist’s spine._

_Murdoc didn’t reply, too busy looking away into the white ahead of him, consumed in guilt. He didn’t know how long he laid there, just thinking._

_Thinking of how he met 2D, knocking him into that coma and taking out one of his blue eyes. How he knocked him out of it along with his other remaining eye. The bassist thought back to the beginning of Gorillaz when he kidnapped Russel and met young little Noodle later on._

_His mind wandered through the journey of Gorillaz’s fame, the ups and downs. Noodle’s disappearance, Russel’s inner battle, when he’d wrongly abused 2D...it weighed heavy on his heart, Murdoc realized now._

_It may have taken hours, days maybe, for Murdoc to think. He thought of everything from Kong Studios, to Plastic Beach, to the Spirit House…_

_All the while 2D gazed down at him, the hand on Murdoc’s chest turned over so his palm faced upwards, fingers curled slightly but not entirely. An open invitation._

_“What are you sorry for, Muds?” 2D asked patiently. Murdoc let his right hand wander to his chest, finding the singer’s and intertwined their hands gently as if 2D would vanish into thin air._

_“...Everything.”_

_2D didn’t really react other than by squeezing the bassist’s hand._

_It was quieter than before now for some reason. This was his heaven, laid with someone he loved in nothingness, nothing to bother him._

_Murdoc shut his eyes...only to suddenly feel his lungs burning and 2D’s hand retreating..._


	2. BECOMING A TWO-SHOT!

Because I loved how this one-shot turned out and thanks to the reader's who commented and sent kudos for this piece, I'm going to write another part after the last Murdoc chat! Once I know what actually happened and whether the sewer incident really happened, I'll begin the second part depending on that outcome. So the next part to this should be out before or after Halloween, most likely afterwards since I'll have parties to attend and school stuff.

Thank you to all that read the first part and stay tuned for the next chapter soon! I also have another 2Doc one-shot coming out, it's currently in the works. And I'll work on getting the third chapter to Unconditional out soon, too. Having a bit of a writer's block on that one.

**Author's Note:**

> Thoughts?
> 
> Leave a comment if you'd like. I greatly appreciate them and love to read them throughout my day when they arrive :)


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